When the System Fails You: Finding Yourself After a Federal RIF

If you’ve lost your job due to a federal Reduction in Force (RIF), you’re not alone—and you’re not weak. You’ve experienced something deeply disruptive, and your reaction to it is entirely human.

 A Sudden, Systemic Loss

For many federal employees, public service is more than a job—it’s a calling. So when the government abruptly shuts down an agency or cuts positions through a RIF, it doesn’t just impact your paycheck. It shakes your sense of identity, purpose, and stability, and it triggers  a form of grief. And just like grieving a death it can bring on a complex mix of emotions: sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, disbelief, even shame.

The worst part? It’s out of your control. And when something this big happens with no warning and no personal fault, it can leave you feeling disoriented, sad, angry, numb, or even shame. You may find yourself blaming yourself for past career choices or .wondering if you should’ve seen it coming, taken a different path, or stayed in a previous role. That’s your mind trying to make sense of something senseless, searching for control in a situation where none existed.

But the truth is: this didn’t happen because you made a wrong decision. It happened because a system failed to protect the very people who dedicated their careers to serving it. And that truth matters because healing begins not with blaming yourself, but  with honoring what you’ve lost, and recognizing the strength it takes to rebuild.

 

 Why Do I Blame Myself?

This is an incredibly common reaction to trauma and sudden change. Here’s why:

• Self-blame gives the illusion of control. When something happens that feels unpredictable or unfair—like losing your job due to a government shutdown—your mind scrambles to make sense of it. Blaming yourself gives you a sense of agency, even if it’s painful. If you believe it was your choice or your mistake, it feels less like the world is completely chaotic.If it was your fault, then at least it wasn’t chaos. Your brain wants a story it can make sense of—even if it’s painful. But that doesn’t mean the blame is fair or accurate. It’s just a mental shortcut for regaining control.

  
  

• You’re deeply invested in personal responsibility.

  People who are conscientious, self-aware, and achievement-oriented often assume responsibility as a way to stay empowered. If you’ve been conditioned to believe “I’m in control of my path,” then something like this—a situation you couldn’t control—conflicts with that belief. It’s easier (and feels safer) to bend your worldview by blaming yourself than to accept just how unjust the system was.

  
  

• Anger at the system feels powerless. Anger requires a sense of power—and when you feel powerless, it’s hard to access. Self-blame can feel more available than anger at a large, faceless system. The government or administration feels untouchable. You can't sit them down, demand an apology, or make them change course. And when we can't act on our anger, it often gets pushed down into numbness or redirected inward—toward ourselves

  
  

• Hindsight might be tricking you. You’re seeing your past decisions through the lens of what you know now, and your mind is rewriting the story to say: “I should’ve known better.” You couldn’t have predicted the government would close agencies or drastically reduce the federal workforce. That’s not something most people imagine when making a career decision. You made the best decisions you could with the information you had.

  
  

• Self-blame can be a way to avoid deeper, more painful feelings.

Sometimes, blaming ourselves is easier than facing the full emotional weight of what's happened—like the fear of being untethered, or the uncertainty of what comes next. Blame feels active. Grief feels vulnerable.

You Deserve to Be Angry. And You Deserve to Heal.

Anger, grief, confusion—none of these make you weak. They mean you care. They mean you showed up fully. And while this chapter may feel like a door slamming shut, you still have agency in what comes next. So how do you shift from self-blame to rightful anger? Not to stay stuck in rage—but to validate your experience, to restore power.

A Guide to Healing

1.  Start with Reframing: You Didn’t Fail—The System Did

   This wasn’t about your performance, your value, or your ability. It was a bureaucratic decision made far above your head. You are still capable. Still worthy. Still you. And while you may feel lost right now, this isn’t the end of your story—it’s a painful turning point. And turning points can become powerful beginnings.

   
   

2. Talk to Your Past Self

   Write a letter to your past self starting with, “If I could go back and talk to the me who chose this career, I would say…..”Speak with compassion. Remind yourself what you knew and didn’t know at the time. Honor your reasons.

3. Name What Was Taken from You

   Try writing: “When the agency closed, I lost ___.” Or

    “When my position was eliminated, I lost…”

   Go beyond the paycheck. List everything that comes to mind — big and small: a routine, a sense of purpose, a vision for your future, people you enjoyed, confidence, stability, etc. This helps externalize the loss and start pointing the emotional finger outward.

   
   

4. Write an Unsent Letter to the Administration

   Invite the anger. Give yourself permission to feel the injustice and what’s true. Name the people, systems, or decisions that failed you. Be direct. Tell them what their decision cost you. Don’t hold back. Say the things you can’t say to their face. Use these prompts:

   “It makes me angry that…”

   “I deserved…”

   “What they did showed…”

   
   

5. Let Anger be a form of Self-Respect

   Anger doesn’t have to mean yelling or chaos. Healthy anger says: “What happened was wrong. I deserved better.” That kind of anger can be energizing. It gets you out of the helpless “what’s wrong with me?” loop and into “what do I want to reclaim?”

   
   

6. Reclaim Your Power

   Anger, when processed, can clarify values. It can help you channel energy into something constructive—advocacy, mentoring, writing, or simply choosing to work in spaces that treat people with dignity. Shift from powerlessness to purpose by asking yourself:

   “What kind of system do I want to be part of next?”

   “Even though I didn’t choose this, I still choose to…”

   “Going forward, I will no longer accept…”

   “This experience reminded me that I value…

Moving Forward

If you're ready to start moving forward—to clarify what’s next, reclaim your voice, and rediscover meaningful work—consider working with a career coach who understands public sector transitions and the emotional toll of unexpected loss. You don’t have to go it alone.

I created the New Chapters Group Coaching Program to support mission-driven federal workers navigating the uncertainty of job loss and career transition. This six-week program blends expert career coaching with a compassionate community of peers—all designed to help you define what’s next, develop a clear plan, and move forward with confidence. Each week, I guide you through a proven career change strategy, offering tailored advice and practical tools to help you translate your federal experience into a meaningful private sector role. Along the way, you’ll gain clarity, direction, and a renewed sense of purpose—all within a supportive space where you can learn from others on a similar path. If you’re ready to write your next chapter, I’d be honored to help you begin.